ALPHA – Q – PHAltoooooo PK Verdict: Super Tin⭐️

ALPHA – Q – PHAltoooooo

What can one expect from Uday Chopra’s writing? Apparently, a film that mistakes a comic book fever dream for a spy thriller.

The YRF Spy Universe has now reached a point where it feels less like an espionage franchise and more like a Comic-Con cosplay event with an unlimited VFX budget. Debutant director Shiv Rawail, who previously delivered the brilliant The Railway Men, somehow manages to derail the entire Spy Universe in spectacular fashion. This level of disappointment wasn’t on anyone’s mission briefing.

The film introduces Sita and Durga—thankfully the villain isn’t named Raavan, because subtlety has already been declared missing in action. Bobby Deol delivers every dialogue as if someone accidentally pressed the 0.5x playback button. Anil Kapoor gets one of the weakest characters written in his otherwise stellar filmography. Alia Bhatt looks completely lost in the chaos, while Sharvari is the only one who manages to leave an impression despite being handed a painfully underwritten role.

The big reveal? ALPHA is a serum that transforms ordinary humans into super soldiers. YRF probably thought this would be their MARVELous moment. Unfortunately, instead of creating superheroes, they’ve created a super snoozer. Perhaps it’s time to focus on making good films again instead of expanding cinematic universes where even the stars seem lost.

The screenplay is so poorly written and badly executed that even this powerhouse cast cannot rescue it. Watching ALPHA feels like taking an over-the-counter sleeping pill. The moment it begins, your eyelids begin their own action sequence.

If you’re planning a movie outing this monsoon, do yourself a favour. Stay home, order some hot kanda bhajiya, stream an old YRF romance on OTT, and thank yourself later, marking yourself ALPHA Safe. It’ll be far more entertaining than getting locked inside a theatre.

The film seems determined to prove that Alia and Sharvari can do absolutely everything. Sliding with knives? Check. Rolling through bullets? Check. Fighting, bombing, mountain climbing, diving, biking—check, check, check and… PHEW! At times it feels less like a spy film and more like an elaborate audition showreel demonstrating every stunt the two actresses can perform.

The songs are forgettable, while the background score works overtime, desperately screaming, “Please feel excited!” Every scene is accompanied by loud music trying to manufacture tension because the screenplay certainly can’t. Silence, emotion and depth have all gone undercover. Even the nationalism never lands because the stakes never feel high enough to care.

Ironically, the casting is the film’s biggest strength. Bobby Deol, Anil Kapoor, Alia Bhatt and Sharvari are all immensely capable performers. Sadly, they become victims of a script that treats talent as an afterthought. It almost feels like the makers were so busy keeping their in-house writer happy that they forgot to make a good movie and delivered a PHAltoo.

PK Verdict: Super Tin ⭐️

P.S.: That lone star is reserved entirely for the four lead actors. They deserved a much better mission than this ALPHA-Q disaster.